4. I FELT LIKE I WAS WALKING ON EGGSHELLS AND ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT MAKING HER ANGRY. Our friendship was becoming more and more toxic. Each morning I would wake up filled with dread about our interactions. Yet she’d been my best friend for years, and the thought of not being friends anymore also made me feel lost and scared. I didn’t know what to do or how to break out of this cycle. Every time we talked, I was weighing my words and trying to figure out what would set her off.
5. THE VERBAL ABUSE BEGAN TO ESCALATE BUT I STILL DEFENDED HER TO MY FAMILY AND OTHER FRIENDS. This part is hard for me to talk about because even though I know it wasn’t my fault, I still feel guilty for not standing up for myself more. She began regularly calling me names and swearing at me. She’d make fun of my appearance and make light of my problems. She was, in a word, cruel, and I didn’t even recognize her anymore. My family began to see how miserable I was and worried about me, but I still defended her.
6. BOTH OF US WERE MISERABLE BUT NEITHER OF US WOULD END THE FRIENDSHIP. We were both clearly miserable. In the past, we had been codependent on each other, and I wasn’t a perfect person either. She would hold past mistakes of mine over my head. While I take responsibility for some of my actions, her mistreatment of me wasn’t OK. Neither of us was happy, but instead of ending the friendship, she continued to treat me horribly and I continued to go along with it. relationships,relationships,relationships