They say the rules are meant to be broken. But when it comes to dating, we often think certain relationship rules exist for a reason, and thus follow them to a tee. Think along the lines of edicts like “never go to bed angry” or “compromise is everything,” and how engrained they all feel. And yet, breaking a few rules like these can actually be a good thing — and may even make your bond with your partner stronger.
Not all rules are “one size fits all,” so if it feels like something isn’t working for you or your partner, it’s OK to switch things up. “All couples are different, so the rules will work for some and be unhelpful for others,” Jonathan Bennett, relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. “Just because something is expected doesn’t mean it’s right for your relationship. Go with what your partner and you prefer and keep the lines of communication open.”
In doing so, you might even free yourselves from some unnecessary stress. As Bennett says, “In many cases, ‘relationship rules’ can be oppressive and stifling and create anxiety in a relationship.” And really, who needs that? Here are a few rules you should consider breaking if you want to be closer to your partner, according to experts.
1. Never Go To Bed Angry
They say it’s better to resolve a fight before going to bed, lest you and your partner stew all night long. But in many cases, this isn’t always possible — or healthy.
“Staying up arguing all night never brings anyone closer, and only winds up leaving you with bad memories and harsh words spoken,” clinical psychologist Dr. Helen Odessky tells Bustle. “Break this rule when you know you need some time to mull things over and get back to the discussion when you are both calm.”
It’s perfectly fine to call a time out out for the evening, and agree to speak about the issue again the next day. This allows you both time to cool off, and be better, more understanding partners as a result.